I received an email from a guy, and he seemed very nice and eager to meet me. We talked for a little bit and decided to meet.
We meet at Starbucks, and I arrived first. I went to order a coffee and then realized I did not have my wallet. Just as that happened he approached me. Thankfully, he was approached me at the perfect moment and bought my coffee. We sat there and talked for several hours. He was shaking the whole time because he was so nervous. It was kind of cute.
It was getting late and we decided to come back to my house and hang out. We watched and movie and mostly talked. He kissed me good night and left. We hung out quite a bit after that. We would go out to lunch, and spend nights together. After a week, we were talking on the phone and he bought up the questions, “What are we?” He kept talking and did not allow me to answer, and I was not sure how I was going to answer as it was only a week. So, I let him keep talking, and he just talked himself out of the conversation.
He introduced me to his son. We went to the movies and had a good time, but I started to feel that there was something weird there. His son had some major attention issues. He took severe medication for it, but his dad did not give him his medication on a regular basis. The kid would bounce off the walls and even my dogs would run from the kid. His dad would just ignore him. I finally realized that The Stalker wanted a mother for his child.
With that said, my brother came down and The Stalker came over with his son without giving his kid his medication. So, the kid is bouncing off the walls and I decide that it is time to go get his medication. We left to go get the kids medication. I left my brother with the kid. On our way back to the house, my brother starts calling me asking when we were coming back. When we show up, the kid is yelling and running around the house like a maniac. I decide that I can’t do this. I go to lay down because “I don’t’ feel good.” My brother comes in to check on me and I fill him in on what is going on. My brother goes back outside and tells him that I wasn’t feeling very good. Then tells him that he has to leave cause my brother was getting ready to go see a girl and he does not know him and is not leaving him at my house alone. So, I hear him kicking out The Stalker, and I get up and get into the shower. By the time, The Stalker is gone, I am getting out of the shower so my brother and I can go out.
I avoided his phone calls for a few days after that, and I told him that I was sick. I was trying to let him down easy and was hoping he was just going to drift away. However, he kept calling me all the time and respectively one morning. I answered it. We talked and the question came out again, “What are we?” And then he confessed to me that since I was not answering his calls, he decided to drive by my house to check on me. He admitted that he did it a few nights in a row. One night I was home, and the other night, I was not. I defended myself, and then got off the phone with him. I figured out that he wasn’t just going to go away. I decided to rip him off like a band aid. I texted him and told him that we needed to talk, and he pushed me until I just text him (Yup, I did this over a text message!) that I did not EVER want to see him again. A few days went by and he text me and told me that he missed me and wanted to know where I was the night before cause I was not home. I told him to leave me alone and if I saw him again, I would call the police and file a restraining order. I have not heard or seen him since.
New Rule: Don’t date guys that are crazy, and don’t let them know where you live.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Doctor
One of the most bizarre first date was with The Doctor. I drove to meet him when he got off his shift. I had been talking with his for a little bit and decided one night to go meet him for dinner at the last minute.
When I was getting ready to leave I got a text messages from him that telling me random things about him. One was that he had an accent, one that he just got off work and he was still in his work clothes, and one was that he was not a million feet tall and I was NOT to wear heels. I found that to be odd as I am not one to take orders like that.
We met for dinner and it was ok, but he was not that great at conversation. He talked me into taking a ride to see his new medical office. I did. Then he convinced me to go back to his house. And I did. I knew in my head that I was not going to sleep with him. He had an amazing house. When we got there he had champagne and cigars for me as I had mentioned that I drink occasionally and I enjoy a cigar every once in a while when I drink. He poured me a glass and we went outside to have a cigar. He was smoking his very liberally and I tried to warn him that he needs to be careful with the cigar because I knew that if he was not used to them then they could really knock him on his ass. He did not seem to be concerned.
After a small glass of champagne, we went back inside and he wanted to show me around his house. The tour ended in his guest room and the next thing that I knew we were making out on the bed. He wasn’t that good of a kisser, but when he started to lick my neck like my dog, up and down, up and down. I had to stare at the ceiling thinking of the most saddest things I could think of in order not to laugh uncontrollably at him. He then moved to me ears and was sucking on them while he was rubbing my boon in a circular motion that was on the fine line of weird, painful, and giving me motion sickness. Then he stops. pulls his head away from me and pulls my earring out of his mouth. And hands it back to me. I went to find the back of my earring to find it glued to the back of my ear from all of his spit.
I decided that maybe he was just nervous, and he had not been with anyone in a while. So, I decided to take control of the situation. After I put my earring back in my ear, I shoved him over and took charge of the situation. I was kissing him when he whispered to me to bite his lip. I figured, why not. So, when I did, he yells out “Oh yeah, you fucking bitch, bite me you fucking bitch!” At that point, I was done. I can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom, but on the first date it was a little weird, and inappropriate.
I rolled over was adjusting my clothing when he reached over and slapped me. I admit it was not a hard slap, but it took be by surprise especially when he told me that it was all my fault. I did not know that what he was talking about, and asked him “What?” He then reached over and slapped me a little harder, and again told me that it was all my fault and he added that he never does this. At this point, I am shocked, and I asked him one more time “What?” He responded with w firmer slap and told me that it was all my fault, he never brings woman back to his house, but it was all my smile. This time I pointed at him and told him. “If you slap me one more time, then I was going to slap him back and it was going to fucking hurt.” I do not think that he ever had a girl stand up to him as he looked shocked and laid back on the bed.
As he lay there, I got up and started to adjust my clothing. Nothing was off, it was all twisted around. He all of a sudden jerked straight up and looked at me and said, “I have to go throw up now, so, you have to stay here!” Since I was already slapped, I figured I should stay there. When he came back, I made him take me back to my car immediately.
New Rule: Never smoke cigars and drink champagne on the first date unless you know he can handle it and keep men away from my ears.
When I was getting ready to leave I got a text messages from him that telling me random things about him. One was that he had an accent, one that he just got off work and he was still in his work clothes, and one was that he was not a million feet tall and I was NOT to wear heels. I found that to be odd as I am not one to take orders like that.
We met for dinner and it was ok, but he was not that great at conversation. He talked me into taking a ride to see his new medical office. I did. Then he convinced me to go back to his house. And I did. I knew in my head that I was not going to sleep with him. He had an amazing house. When we got there he had champagne and cigars for me as I had mentioned that I drink occasionally and I enjoy a cigar every once in a while when I drink. He poured me a glass and we went outside to have a cigar. He was smoking his very liberally and I tried to warn him that he needs to be careful with the cigar because I knew that if he was not used to them then they could really knock him on his ass. He did not seem to be concerned.
After a small glass of champagne, we went back inside and he wanted to show me around his house. The tour ended in his guest room and the next thing that I knew we were making out on the bed. He wasn’t that good of a kisser, but when he started to lick my neck like my dog, up and down, up and down. I had to stare at the ceiling thinking of the most saddest things I could think of in order not to laugh uncontrollably at him. He then moved to me ears and was sucking on them while he was rubbing my boon in a circular motion that was on the fine line of weird, painful, and giving me motion sickness. Then he stops. pulls his head away from me and pulls my earring out of his mouth. And hands it back to me. I went to find the back of my earring to find it glued to the back of my ear from all of his spit.
I decided that maybe he was just nervous, and he had not been with anyone in a while. So, I decided to take control of the situation. After I put my earring back in my ear, I shoved him over and took charge of the situation. I was kissing him when he whispered to me to bite his lip. I figured, why not. So, when I did, he yells out “Oh yeah, you fucking bitch, bite me you fucking bitch!” At that point, I was done. I can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom, but on the first date it was a little weird, and inappropriate.
I rolled over was adjusting my clothing when he reached over and slapped me. I admit it was not a hard slap, but it took be by surprise especially when he told me that it was all my fault. I did not know that what he was talking about, and asked him “What?” He then reached over and slapped me a little harder, and again told me that it was all my fault and he added that he never does this. At this point, I am shocked, and I asked him one more time “What?” He responded with w firmer slap and told me that it was all my fault, he never brings woman back to his house, but it was all my smile. This time I pointed at him and told him. “If you slap me one more time, then I was going to slap him back and it was going to fucking hurt.” I do not think that he ever had a girl stand up to him as he looked shocked and laid back on the bed.
As he lay there, I got up and started to adjust my clothing. Nothing was off, it was all twisted around. He all of a sudden jerked straight up and looked at me and said, “I have to go throw up now, so, you have to stay here!” Since I was already slapped, I figured I should stay there. When he came back, I made him take me back to my car immediately.
New Rule: Never smoke cigars and drink champagne on the first date unless you know he can handle it and keep men away from my ears.
The Mexican
The Mexican got his name from my friend that is also a Mexican. When I told her about him, so was excited that I was dating someone from her race. It was a little joke between us. He was very sweet, intelligent, interesting, and grammatically correct. He was very much into his career, and spent a lot of time working.
We talked for a few weeks. And I blew him off a few times as I really enjoyed talking to him and did not want it to end. But when I finally decided to meet him, when met at a little restaurant/bar. On his profile he stated that he was 5’8”, but when he came walking up to me, it was more like 5’5’. I am not one to judge about height. I had been noticing this trend about the other men I had gone a few dates with. He was very handsome, and we laughed and had an amazing time. We left as I had to go home and finish a few things. We talked a few more times and decided to hang out again. I went over to his house and we watched a movie and had a few drinks. He kissed me good night.
We went out a few times for some drinks, and I had came over to his house a handful of times. It was a few weeks into our “relationship” when we decided to go all the way. He had confessed to me a few days before that it had been over a year since he was with anyone. So, when it finally happened, he lasted less then a minute. I left his house very unsatisfied. I decided that I was not going to judge him on the first time. But when he replayed his performance the next two times, I was starting to wonder if he was going to build up his stamina. We hung out a few more times and still no change, but we started to drift apart.
He made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I loved talking to him as he was someone that actual had some original thoughts and challenged me to think. A very nice change from the standard conversations that you have with most guys. He was a very new age thinker and was always looking at the latest and greatest diets. He was always talking to me about it, and when he last talked he was trying the raw food diet. It slowly parted ways, but still text each other on occasion to see how we are managing.
New Rule: Always verify how tall they actually are.
We talked for a few weeks. And I blew him off a few times as I really enjoyed talking to him and did not want it to end. But when I finally decided to meet him, when met at a little restaurant/bar. On his profile he stated that he was 5’8”, but when he came walking up to me, it was more like 5’5’. I am not one to judge about height. I had been noticing this trend about the other men I had gone a few dates with. He was very handsome, and we laughed and had an amazing time. We left as I had to go home and finish a few things. We talked a few more times and decided to hang out again. I went over to his house and we watched a movie and had a few drinks. He kissed me good night.
We went out a few times for some drinks, and I had came over to his house a handful of times. It was a few weeks into our “relationship” when we decided to go all the way. He had confessed to me a few days before that it had been over a year since he was with anyone. So, when it finally happened, he lasted less then a minute. I left his house very unsatisfied. I decided that I was not going to judge him on the first time. But when he replayed his performance the next two times, I was starting to wonder if he was going to build up his stamina. We hung out a few more times and still no change, but we started to drift apart.
He made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I loved talking to him as he was someone that actual had some original thoughts and challenged me to think. A very nice change from the standard conversations that you have with most guys. He was a very new age thinker and was always looking at the latest and greatest diets. He was always talking to me about it, and when he last talked he was trying the raw food diet. It slowly parted ways, but still text each other on occasion to see how we are managing.
New Rule: Always verify how tall they actually are.
Baby's Daddy
I was talking to Baby’s Daddy at the same time as 12 Steps. Baby's Daddy was a very deep thinker, and he was really into stating a family and having kids. He was almost obsessed about it. It was kind of nice as I had always dated guys that either did not want kids or did not know if they wanted them. He would go into great details about how he wants to be with his pregnant wife and be through it all with her.
We decided to meet. We set a date to meet and when that date came around, he text me and told me that we will have to re-schedule at the last minute. So, after me sending him a slightly angry text message we decided to just meet later in the night. We met at a restaurant and had water. But had great conversation.
We talked for a few more days. We made a plan to hook up on Halloween and go dancing with a cousin. We met at the bar and hung out all night. My cousin and his friend hit it off. They made out at the bar. I took my cousin home to my house. Baby's Daddy and I decided to that I would meet him back at his house.
I decided that there will be nothing more from him. We still hang out. And a little while after Halloween night we were talking over text messages. When I got a text message, asking me to have his child. After a long consideration, as I have wanted to be a mom for a long time and figured he would be a good dad, I decided against it.
New Rule: Beware of the men that are overly eager to have kids and get married.
We decided to meet. We set a date to meet and when that date came around, he text me and told me that we will have to re-schedule at the last minute. So, after me sending him a slightly angry text message we decided to just meet later in the night. We met at a restaurant and had water. But had great conversation.
We talked for a few more days. We made a plan to hook up on Halloween and go dancing with a cousin. We met at the bar and hung out all night. My cousin and his friend hit it off. They made out at the bar. I took my cousin home to my house. Baby's Daddy and I decided to that I would meet him back at his house.
I decided that there will be nothing more from him. We still hang out. And a little while after Halloween night we were talking over text messages. When I got a text message, asking me to have his child. After a long consideration, as I have wanted to be a mom for a long time and figured he would be a good dad, I decided against it.
New Rule: Beware of the men that are overly eager to have kids and get married.
12 Steps
12 Steps was a guy that I had started talking to, and every conversation over the phone he would mention that there are 12 different ways to pleasure a woman. This got old really fast to hear how great he was at this skill. I keep him around cause he would do random entertaining things.
I went to home to see my family for the weekend. I was talking to him the whole time I was gone. I had not figured out how I was going to get home yet from the airport. He offered to give me a ride, and I did not want to pay for one from the airport. The only problem was that he lived on the opposite of the valley, it would take about an hour and a half to get to my house and back to his. He had to work at 4:00 am the next morning, and I came in about 11:00 pm that night. We decided that I would just stay hat his house.
So, when I arrived at airport, I met him outside. Strike one. When I got to his truck, I had to put my bag into the back of the truck. Strike two. Then on the way to his house he told me that he was going to have to “sneak me in” to his house as he lives in his father’s house, and he is not allowed to have anyone over. Strike three. I was already in his truck and half way to his house. So, when we got there he went in and did a quick recon mission to make sure that his dad was asleep. He came back out and escorted me through the garage.
Once we were in his room, and crawled into bed. He snored so loud that I did not sleep at all or as he called it “breathing heavy.” I was awake all night long! It was snoring. So, when 3:30 came around, I was already awake and ready to get up. He woke up and realized that his dad was already awake. I had to use the restroom REALLY bad. As I was not able to use it before I went to bed. He quickly shoved me out the door and told me to ‘go hide’ by his truck. He went in and talked to his dad and came out. I made him drop me take to a convenient store so I could pee.
He dropped me off at my house and I never answered his calls again.
New Rule: Always ask if they live with their parents first.
I went to home to see my family for the weekend. I was talking to him the whole time I was gone. I had not figured out how I was going to get home yet from the airport. He offered to give me a ride, and I did not want to pay for one from the airport. The only problem was that he lived on the opposite of the valley, it would take about an hour and a half to get to my house and back to his. He had to work at 4:00 am the next morning, and I came in about 11:00 pm that night. We decided that I would just stay hat his house.
So, when I arrived at airport, I met him outside. Strike one. When I got to his truck, I had to put my bag into the back of the truck. Strike two. Then on the way to his house he told me that he was going to have to “sneak me in” to his house as he lives in his father’s house, and he is not allowed to have anyone over. Strike three. I was already in his truck and half way to his house. So, when we got there he went in and did a quick recon mission to make sure that his dad was asleep. He came back out and escorted me through the garage.
Once we were in his room, and crawled into bed. He snored so loud that I did not sleep at all or as he called it “breathing heavy.” I was awake all night long! It was snoring. So, when 3:30 came around, I was already awake and ready to get up. He woke up and realized that his dad was already awake. I had to use the restroom REALLY bad. As I was not able to use it before I went to bed. He quickly shoved me out the door and told me to ‘go hide’ by his truck. He went in and talked to his dad and came out. I made him drop me take to a convenient store so I could pee.
He dropped me off at my house and I never answered his calls again.
New Rule: Always ask if they live with their parents first.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Crier
While I was hanging out with the Half Crazy, I also started talking to a new guy, He seemed very normal and down to earth. We talked for several weeks and things were going good over the emails and text messages. After I ended it with the Half Crazy, I met this guy.
The first time that we hung out, it was at this house and we watched a movie. I felt like I was back in high school as we sat on the opposite sides of the couch and did not touch. We slowly inched our way to each other, When the movie was over, we were actually touching and holding hands. It was very sweet. We were talking and getting to know each other. That is when he decided to tell me his life story. No joke, his life story. He started when he was younger and was in elementary school. He used to get into trouble a lot, and went all the way up to his last relationship, He told me that in order for me to understand him, that I needed to know what he had been through in his lifetime. I listened patiently, and that is when he started to cry. It was very strange for me to see a grown man cry on the first “date” when I am sure I can count on one hand how many times I have seen all the men in my life cry including my brother and father.
I decided that I would give him a this guy a shot. I have never had a sensitive guy before, and it might be a nice change. One day, without me prior knowing, he sent me a picture of his manhood. And upon reviewing it, I noticed that his cat was in the background. Which that in itself was weird to me. Who takes a picture of their private parts and sends it to someone that they hardly know, but to take the picture with your pet in the background is even funnier.
Then one day he called me, and he had a friend die in Iraq. I admit, this is very hard news. I told him that I would hang out with him as he wanted to go get drunk. I wanted to make sure that he was going to be ok. When I showed up, he was already drunk. There were moments of tears, moments of laughter, moments of drunken silliness, and then more moments of tears. We did have a good time, but started to notice that he was more emotionally needy then I was afraid I was going to be able to deal with. I wanted someone to pull my hair, not cry after sex. Although, we never had sex, the thought that I was going to have to comfort him after sex was starting to creep in my head.
Over the next week, his attitude slowly went down, and he got more and more depressed. I hung out with him one more time, and we talked about his past again. He informed me that he had withheld a few details in his story. He let me know his complete story. I admit again, that his story was very horrific, but he was crying again on me with no alcohol. At this moment, I realized that I cannot date a nice guy. I still talk to him as a friend, and he stills tries to flirt with me.
New rule: Nice guys do finish last.
The first time that we hung out, it was at this house and we watched a movie. I felt like I was back in high school as we sat on the opposite sides of the couch and did not touch. We slowly inched our way to each other, When the movie was over, we were actually touching and holding hands. It was very sweet. We were talking and getting to know each other. That is when he decided to tell me his life story. No joke, his life story. He started when he was younger and was in elementary school. He used to get into trouble a lot, and went all the way up to his last relationship, He told me that in order for me to understand him, that I needed to know what he had been through in his lifetime. I listened patiently, and that is when he started to cry. It was very strange for me to see a grown man cry on the first “date” when I am sure I can count on one hand how many times I have seen all the men in my life cry including my brother and father.
I decided that I would give him a this guy a shot. I have never had a sensitive guy before, and it might be a nice change. One day, without me prior knowing, he sent me a picture of his manhood. And upon reviewing it, I noticed that his cat was in the background. Which that in itself was weird to me. Who takes a picture of their private parts and sends it to someone that they hardly know, but to take the picture with your pet in the background is even funnier.
Then one day he called me, and he had a friend die in Iraq. I admit, this is very hard news. I told him that I would hang out with him as he wanted to go get drunk. I wanted to make sure that he was going to be ok. When I showed up, he was already drunk. There were moments of tears, moments of laughter, moments of drunken silliness, and then more moments of tears. We did have a good time, but started to notice that he was more emotionally needy then I was afraid I was going to be able to deal with. I wanted someone to pull my hair, not cry after sex. Although, we never had sex, the thought that I was going to have to comfort him after sex was starting to creep in my head.
Over the next week, his attitude slowly went down, and he got more and more depressed. I hung out with him one more time, and we talked about his past again. He informed me that he had withheld a few details in his story. He let me know his complete story. I admit again, that his story was very horrific, but he was crying again on me with no alcohol. At this moment, I realized that I cannot date a nice guy. I still talk to him as a friend, and he stills tries to flirt with me.
New rule: Nice guys do finish last.
Half Crazy
So, after the rebound king, I was immediately met the next guy. He claimed to be a Christian, and I thought that maybe this would be a nice change. I had never been with someone with the same beliefs. The first night that we talked, we literally talked for 8 hours. It was an amazing conversation.
The next day we decided to meet up. After work, I drove to his house. It was the longest drive I have ever taken. When I met him, I noticed immediately that he did not look like the pictures that he had posted. We had a great time, and I decided that I would stay the night. We started to make out and one thing lead to another, and he pulled it out. For the first time, I was scared. I had never seen one that big before. It was enjoyed, but he lasted forever. It was a nice change. And it was pretty apparent at this time that he was not so Christian as he proclaimed.
Over the next week, we hung out and talked a lot. When the weekend came around we made plans to hang out. I went to his house on Friday night. We watched a movie and drank some wine. Saturday came and we had breakfast and enjoyed each other. Then all of a sudden, he gets up and goes into his office. About 15 minutes goes by, and I hear voices from his office. When I go into his office he was watching TV on his computer. When I tried to sit in there with him to spend time with him, he got up and left the room again and went outside to talk on the phone. I decide that I needed to leave.
Over the next week, he is distant and borderline weird. I slowly stopped talking to him. Then one day he calls me out of the blue. It had been a while since my last encounter, and I hung out with him again. In the middle of sex, he stops and looks at me and gets emotional. He told me how he missed me and how he was so glad to see me. I decided that I would slowly let him loose. He had a little more bi-polar tendencies than I wanted to deal with.
New Rule: No matter how normal they seem, they can still have a hint of crazy.
The next day we decided to meet up. After work, I drove to his house. It was the longest drive I have ever taken. When I met him, I noticed immediately that he did not look like the pictures that he had posted. We had a great time, and I decided that I would stay the night. We started to make out and one thing lead to another, and he pulled it out. For the first time, I was scared. I had never seen one that big before. It was enjoyed, but he lasted forever. It was a nice change. And it was pretty apparent at this time that he was not so Christian as he proclaimed.
Over the next week, we hung out and talked a lot. When the weekend came around we made plans to hang out. I went to his house on Friday night. We watched a movie and drank some wine. Saturday came and we had breakfast and enjoyed each other. Then all of a sudden, he gets up and goes into his office. About 15 minutes goes by, and I hear voices from his office. When I go into his office he was watching TV on his computer. When I tried to sit in there with him to spend time with him, he got up and left the room again and went outside to talk on the phone. I decide that I needed to leave.
Over the next week, he is distant and borderline weird. I slowly stopped talking to him. Then one day he calls me out of the blue. It had been a while since my last encounter, and I hung out with him again. In the middle of sex, he stops and looks at me and gets emotional. He told me how he missed me and how he was so glad to see me. I decided that I would slowly let him loose. He had a little more bi-polar tendencies than I wanted to deal with.
New Rule: No matter how normal they seem, they can still have a hint of crazy.
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