I received an email from a guy, and he seemed very nice and eager to meet me. We talked for a little bit and decided to meet.
We meet at Starbucks, and I arrived first. I went to order a coffee and then realized I did not have my wallet. Just as that happened he approached me. Thankfully, he was approached me at the perfect moment and bought my coffee. We sat there and talked for several hours. He was shaking the whole time because he was so nervous. It was kind of cute.
It was getting late and we decided to come back to my house and hang out. We watched and movie and mostly talked. He kissed me good night and left. We hung out quite a bit after that. We would go out to lunch, and spend nights together. After a week, we were talking on the phone and he bought up the questions, “What are we?” He kept talking and did not allow me to answer, and I was not sure how I was going to answer as it was only a week. So, I let him keep talking, and he just talked himself out of the conversation.
He introduced me to his son. We went to the movies and had a good time, but I started to feel that there was something weird there. His son had some major attention issues. He took severe medication for it, but his dad did not give him his medication on a regular basis. The kid would bounce off the walls and even my dogs would run from the kid. His dad would just ignore him. I finally realized that The Stalker wanted a mother for his child.
With that said, my brother came down and The Stalker came over with his son without giving his kid his medication. So, the kid is bouncing off the walls and I decide that it is time to go get his medication. We left to go get the kids medication. I left my brother with the kid. On our way back to the house, my brother starts calling me asking when we were coming back. When we show up, the kid is yelling and running around the house like a maniac. I decide that I can’t do this. I go to lay down because “I don’t’ feel good.” My brother comes in to check on me and I fill him in on what is going on. My brother goes back outside and tells him that I wasn’t feeling very good. Then tells him that he has to leave cause my brother was getting ready to go see a girl and he does not know him and is not leaving him at my house alone. So, I hear him kicking out The Stalker, and I get up and get into the shower. By the time, The Stalker is gone, I am getting out of the shower so my brother and I can go out.
I avoided his phone calls for a few days after that, and I told him that I was sick. I was trying to let him down easy and was hoping he was just going to drift away. However, he kept calling me all the time and respectively one morning. I answered it. We talked and the question came out again, “What are we?” And then he confessed to me that since I was not answering his calls, he decided to drive by my house to check on me. He admitted that he did it a few nights in a row. One night I was home, and the other night, I was not. I defended myself, and then got off the phone with him. I figured out that he wasn’t just going to go away. I decided to rip him off like a band aid. I texted him and told him that we needed to talk, and he pushed me until I just text him (Yup, I did this over a text message!) that I did not EVER want to see him again. A few days went by and he text me and told me that he missed me and wanted to know where I was the night before cause I was not home. I told him to leave me alone and if I saw him again, I would call the police and file a restraining order. I have not heard or seen him since.
New Rule: Don’t date guys that are crazy, and don’t let them know where you live.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Doctor
One of the most bizarre first date was with The Doctor. I drove to meet him when he got off his shift. I had been talking with his for a little bit and decided one night to go meet him for dinner at the last minute.
When I was getting ready to leave I got a text messages from him that telling me random things about him. One was that he had an accent, one that he just got off work and he was still in his work clothes, and one was that he was not a million feet tall and I was NOT to wear heels. I found that to be odd as I am not one to take orders like that.
We met for dinner and it was ok, but he was not that great at conversation. He talked me into taking a ride to see his new medical office. I did. Then he convinced me to go back to his house. And I did. I knew in my head that I was not going to sleep with him. He had an amazing house. When we got there he had champagne and cigars for me as I had mentioned that I drink occasionally and I enjoy a cigar every once in a while when I drink. He poured me a glass and we went outside to have a cigar. He was smoking his very liberally and I tried to warn him that he needs to be careful with the cigar because I knew that if he was not used to them then they could really knock him on his ass. He did not seem to be concerned.
After a small glass of champagne, we went back inside and he wanted to show me around his house. The tour ended in his guest room and the next thing that I knew we were making out on the bed. He wasn’t that good of a kisser, but when he started to lick my neck like my dog, up and down, up and down. I had to stare at the ceiling thinking of the most saddest things I could think of in order not to laugh uncontrollably at him. He then moved to me ears and was sucking on them while he was rubbing my boon in a circular motion that was on the fine line of weird, painful, and giving me motion sickness. Then he stops. pulls his head away from me and pulls my earring out of his mouth. And hands it back to me. I went to find the back of my earring to find it glued to the back of my ear from all of his spit.
I decided that maybe he was just nervous, and he had not been with anyone in a while. So, I decided to take control of the situation. After I put my earring back in my ear, I shoved him over and took charge of the situation. I was kissing him when he whispered to me to bite his lip. I figured, why not. So, when I did, he yells out “Oh yeah, you fucking bitch, bite me you fucking bitch!” At that point, I was done. I can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom, but on the first date it was a little weird, and inappropriate.
I rolled over was adjusting my clothing when he reached over and slapped me. I admit it was not a hard slap, but it took be by surprise especially when he told me that it was all my fault. I did not know that what he was talking about, and asked him “What?” He then reached over and slapped me a little harder, and again told me that it was all my fault and he added that he never does this. At this point, I am shocked, and I asked him one more time “What?” He responded with w firmer slap and told me that it was all my fault, he never brings woman back to his house, but it was all my smile. This time I pointed at him and told him. “If you slap me one more time, then I was going to slap him back and it was going to fucking hurt.” I do not think that he ever had a girl stand up to him as he looked shocked and laid back on the bed.
As he lay there, I got up and started to adjust my clothing. Nothing was off, it was all twisted around. He all of a sudden jerked straight up and looked at me and said, “I have to go throw up now, so, you have to stay here!” Since I was already slapped, I figured I should stay there. When he came back, I made him take me back to my car immediately.
New Rule: Never smoke cigars and drink champagne on the first date unless you know he can handle it and keep men away from my ears.
When I was getting ready to leave I got a text messages from him that telling me random things about him. One was that he had an accent, one that he just got off work and he was still in his work clothes, and one was that he was not a million feet tall and I was NOT to wear heels. I found that to be odd as I am not one to take orders like that.
We met for dinner and it was ok, but he was not that great at conversation. He talked me into taking a ride to see his new medical office. I did. Then he convinced me to go back to his house. And I did. I knew in my head that I was not going to sleep with him. He had an amazing house. When we got there he had champagne and cigars for me as I had mentioned that I drink occasionally and I enjoy a cigar every once in a while when I drink. He poured me a glass and we went outside to have a cigar. He was smoking his very liberally and I tried to warn him that he needs to be careful with the cigar because I knew that if he was not used to them then they could really knock him on his ass. He did not seem to be concerned.
After a small glass of champagne, we went back inside and he wanted to show me around his house. The tour ended in his guest room and the next thing that I knew we were making out on the bed. He wasn’t that good of a kisser, but when he started to lick my neck like my dog, up and down, up and down. I had to stare at the ceiling thinking of the most saddest things I could think of in order not to laugh uncontrollably at him. He then moved to me ears and was sucking on them while he was rubbing my boon in a circular motion that was on the fine line of weird, painful, and giving me motion sickness. Then he stops. pulls his head away from me and pulls my earring out of his mouth. And hands it back to me. I went to find the back of my earring to find it glued to the back of my ear from all of his spit.
I decided that maybe he was just nervous, and he had not been with anyone in a while. So, I decided to take control of the situation. After I put my earring back in my ear, I shoved him over and took charge of the situation. I was kissing him when he whispered to me to bite his lip. I figured, why not. So, when I did, he yells out “Oh yeah, you fucking bitch, bite me you fucking bitch!” At that point, I was done. I can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom, but on the first date it was a little weird, and inappropriate.
I rolled over was adjusting my clothing when he reached over and slapped me. I admit it was not a hard slap, but it took be by surprise especially when he told me that it was all my fault. I did not know that what he was talking about, and asked him “What?” He then reached over and slapped me a little harder, and again told me that it was all my fault and he added that he never does this. At this point, I am shocked, and I asked him one more time “What?” He responded with w firmer slap and told me that it was all my fault, he never brings woman back to his house, but it was all my smile. This time I pointed at him and told him. “If you slap me one more time, then I was going to slap him back and it was going to fucking hurt.” I do not think that he ever had a girl stand up to him as he looked shocked and laid back on the bed.
As he lay there, I got up and started to adjust my clothing. Nothing was off, it was all twisted around. He all of a sudden jerked straight up and looked at me and said, “I have to go throw up now, so, you have to stay here!” Since I was already slapped, I figured I should stay there. When he came back, I made him take me back to my car immediately.
New Rule: Never smoke cigars and drink champagne on the first date unless you know he can handle it and keep men away from my ears.
The Mexican
The Mexican got his name from my friend that is also a Mexican. When I told her about him, so was excited that I was dating someone from her race. It was a little joke between us. He was very sweet, intelligent, interesting, and grammatically correct. He was very much into his career, and spent a lot of time working.
We talked for a few weeks. And I blew him off a few times as I really enjoyed talking to him and did not want it to end. But when I finally decided to meet him, when met at a little restaurant/bar. On his profile he stated that he was 5’8”, but when he came walking up to me, it was more like 5’5’. I am not one to judge about height. I had been noticing this trend about the other men I had gone a few dates with. He was very handsome, and we laughed and had an amazing time. We left as I had to go home and finish a few things. We talked a few more times and decided to hang out again. I went over to his house and we watched a movie and had a few drinks. He kissed me good night.
We went out a few times for some drinks, and I had came over to his house a handful of times. It was a few weeks into our “relationship” when we decided to go all the way. He had confessed to me a few days before that it had been over a year since he was with anyone. So, when it finally happened, he lasted less then a minute. I left his house very unsatisfied. I decided that I was not going to judge him on the first time. But when he replayed his performance the next two times, I was starting to wonder if he was going to build up his stamina. We hung out a few more times and still no change, but we started to drift apart.
He made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I loved talking to him as he was someone that actual had some original thoughts and challenged me to think. A very nice change from the standard conversations that you have with most guys. He was a very new age thinker and was always looking at the latest and greatest diets. He was always talking to me about it, and when he last talked he was trying the raw food diet. It slowly parted ways, but still text each other on occasion to see how we are managing.
New Rule: Always verify how tall they actually are.
We talked for a few weeks. And I blew him off a few times as I really enjoyed talking to him and did not want it to end. But when I finally decided to meet him, when met at a little restaurant/bar. On his profile he stated that he was 5’8”, but when he came walking up to me, it was more like 5’5’. I am not one to judge about height. I had been noticing this trend about the other men I had gone a few dates with. He was very handsome, and we laughed and had an amazing time. We left as I had to go home and finish a few things. We talked a few more times and decided to hang out again. I went over to his house and we watched a movie and had a few drinks. He kissed me good night.
We went out a few times for some drinks, and I had came over to his house a handful of times. It was a few weeks into our “relationship” when we decided to go all the way. He had confessed to me a few days before that it had been over a year since he was with anyone. So, when it finally happened, he lasted less then a minute. I left his house very unsatisfied. I decided that I was not going to judge him on the first time. But when he replayed his performance the next two times, I was starting to wonder if he was going to build up his stamina. We hung out a few more times and still no change, but we started to drift apart.
He made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I loved talking to him as he was someone that actual had some original thoughts and challenged me to think. A very nice change from the standard conversations that you have with most guys. He was a very new age thinker and was always looking at the latest and greatest diets. He was always talking to me about it, and when he last talked he was trying the raw food diet. It slowly parted ways, but still text each other on occasion to see how we are managing.
New Rule: Always verify how tall they actually are.
Baby's Daddy
I was talking to Baby’s Daddy at the same time as 12 Steps. Baby's Daddy was a very deep thinker, and he was really into stating a family and having kids. He was almost obsessed about it. It was kind of nice as I had always dated guys that either did not want kids or did not know if they wanted them. He would go into great details about how he wants to be with his pregnant wife and be through it all with her.
We decided to meet. We set a date to meet and when that date came around, he text me and told me that we will have to re-schedule at the last minute. So, after me sending him a slightly angry text message we decided to just meet later in the night. We met at a restaurant and had water. But had great conversation.
We talked for a few more days. We made a plan to hook up on Halloween and go dancing with a cousin. We met at the bar and hung out all night. My cousin and his friend hit it off. They made out at the bar. I took my cousin home to my house. Baby's Daddy and I decided to that I would meet him back at his house.
I decided that there will be nothing more from him. We still hang out. And a little while after Halloween night we were talking over text messages. When I got a text message, asking me to have his child. After a long consideration, as I have wanted to be a mom for a long time and figured he would be a good dad, I decided against it.
New Rule: Beware of the men that are overly eager to have kids and get married.
We decided to meet. We set a date to meet and when that date came around, he text me and told me that we will have to re-schedule at the last minute. So, after me sending him a slightly angry text message we decided to just meet later in the night. We met at a restaurant and had water. But had great conversation.
We talked for a few more days. We made a plan to hook up on Halloween and go dancing with a cousin. We met at the bar and hung out all night. My cousin and his friend hit it off. They made out at the bar. I took my cousin home to my house. Baby's Daddy and I decided to that I would meet him back at his house.
I decided that there will be nothing more from him. We still hang out. And a little while after Halloween night we were talking over text messages. When I got a text message, asking me to have his child. After a long consideration, as I have wanted to be a mom for a long time and figured he would be a good dad, I decided against it.
New Rule: Beware of the men that are overly eager to have kids and get married.
12 Steps
12 Steps was a guy that I had started talking to, and every conversation over the phone he would mention that there are 12 different ways to pleasure a woman. This got old really fast to hear how great he was at this skill. I keep him around cause he would do random entertaining things.
I went to home to see my family for the weekend. I was talking to him the whole time I was gone. I had not figured out how I was going to get home yet from the airport. He offered to give me a ride, and I did not want to pay for one from the airport. The only problem was that he lived on the opposite of the valley, it would take about an hour and a half to get to my house and back to his. He had to work at 4:00 am the next morning, and I came in about 11:00 pm that night. We decided that I would just stay hat his house.
So, when I arrived at airport, I met him outside. Strike one. When I got to his truck, I had to put my bag into the back of the truck. Strike two. Then on the way to his house he told me that he was going to have to “sneak me in” to his house as he lives in his father’s house, and he is not allowed to have anyone over. Strike three. I was already in his truck and half way to his house. So, when we got there he went in and did a quick recon mission to make sure that his dad was asleep. He came back out and escorted me through the garage.
Once we were in his room, and crawled into bed. He snored so loud that I did not sleep at all or as he called it “breathing heavy.” I was awake all night long! It was snoring. So, when 3:30 came around, I was already awake and ready to get up. He woke up and realized that his dad was already awake. I had to use the restroom REALLY bad. As I was not able to use it before I went to bed. He quickly shoved me out the door and told me to ‘go hide’ by his truck. He went in and talked to his dad and came out. I made him drop me take to a convenient store so I could pee.
He dropped me off at my house and I never answered his calls again.
New Rule: Always ask if they live with their parents first.
I went to home to see my family for the weekend. I was talking to him the whole time I was gone. I had not figured out how I was going to get home yet from the airport. He offered to give me a ride, and I did not want to pay for one from the airport. The only problem was that he lived on the opposite of the valley, it would take about an hour and a half to get to my house and back to his. He had to work at 4:00 am the next morning, and I came in about 11:00 pm that night. We decided that I would just stay hat his house.
So, when I arrived at airport, I met him outside. Strike one. When I got to his truck, I had to put my bag into the back of the truck. Strike two. Then on the way to his house he told me that he was going to have to “sneak me in” to his house as he lives in his father’s house, and he is not allowed to have anyone over. Strike three. I was already in his truck and half way to his house. So, when we got there he went in and did a quick recon mission to make sure that his dad was asleep. He came back out and escorted me through the garage.
Once we were in his room, and crawled into bed. He snored so loud that I did not sleep at all or as he called it “breathing heavy.” I was awake all night long! It was snoring. So, when 3:30 came around, I was already awake and ready to get up. He woke up and realized that his dad was already awake. I had to use the restroom REALLY bad. As I was not able to use it before I went to bed. He quickly shoved me out the door and told me to ‘go hide’ by his truck. He went in and talked to his dad and came out. I made him drop me take to a convenient store so I could pee.
He dropped me off at my house and I never answered his calls again.
New Rule: Always ask if they live with their parents first.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Crier
While I was hanging out with the Half Crazy, I also started talking to a new guy, He seemed very normal and down to earth. We talked for several weeks and things were going good over the emails and text messages. After I ended it with the Half Crazy, I met this guy.
The first time that we hung out, it was at this house and we watched a movie. I felt like I was back in high school as we sat on the opposite sides of the couch and did not touch. We slowly inched our way to each other, When the movie was over, we were actually touching and holding hands. It was very sweet. We were talking and getting to know each other. That is when he decided to tell me his life story. No joke, his life story. He started when he was younger and was in elementary school. He used to get into trouble a lot, and went all the way up to his last relationship, He told me that in order for me to understand him, that I needed to know what he had been through in his lifetime. I listened patiently, and that is when he started to cry. It was very strange for me to see a grown man cry on the first “date” when I am sure I can count on one hand how many times I have seen all the men in my life cry including my brother and father.
I decided that I would give him a this guy a shot. I have never had a sensitive guy before, and it might be a nice change. One day, without me prior knowing, he sent me a picture of his manhood. And upon reviewing it, I noticed that his cat was in the background. Which that in itself was weird to me. Who takes a picture of their private parts and sends it to someone that they hardly know, but to take the picture with your pet in the background is even funnier.
Then one day he called me, and he had a friend die in Iraq. I admit, this is very hard news. I told him that I would hang out with him as he wanted to go get drunk. I wanted to make sure that he was going to be ok. When I showed up, he was already drunk. There were moments of tears, moments of laughter, moments of drunken silliness, and then more moments of tears. We did have a good time, but started to notice that he was more emotionally needy then I was afraid I was going to be able to deal with. I wanted someone to pull my hair, not cry after sex. Although, we never had sex, the thought that I was going to have to comfort him after sex was starting to creep in my head.
Over the next week, his attitude slowly went down, and he got more and more depressed. I hung out with him one more time, and we talked about his past again. He informed me that he had withheld a few details in his story. He let me know his complete story. I admit again, that his story was very horrific, but he was crying again on me with no alcohol. At this moment, I realized that I cannot date a nice guy. I still talk to him as a friend, and he stills tries to flirt with me.
New rule: Nice guys do finish last.
The first time that we hung out, it was at this house and we watched a movie. I felt like I was back in high school as we sat on the opposite sides of the couch and did not touch. We slowly inched our way to each other, When the movie was over, we were actually touching and holding hands. It was very sweet. We were talking and getting to know each other. That is when he decided to tell me his life story. No joke, his life story. He started when he was younger and was in elementary school. He used to get into trouble a lot, and went all the way up to his last relationship, He told me that in order for me to understand him, that I needed to know what he had been through in his lifetime. I listened patiently, and that is when he started to cry. It was very strange for me to see a grown man cry on the first “date” when I am sure I can count on one hand how many times I have seen all the men in my life cry including my brother and father.
I decided that I would give him a this guy a shot. I have never had a sensitive guy before, and it might be a nice change. One day, without me prior knowing, he sent me a picture of his manhood. And upon reviewing it, I noticed that his cat was in the background. Which that in itself was weird to me. Who takes a picture of their private parts and sends it to someone that they hardly know, but to take the picture with your pet in the background is even funnier.
Then one day he called me, and he had a friend die in Iraq. I admit, this is very hard news. I told him that I would hang out with him as he wanted to go get drunk. I wanted to make sure that he was going to be ok. When I showed up, he was already drunk. There were moments of tears, moments of laughter, moments of drunken silliness, and then more moments of tears. We did have a good time, but started to notice that he was more emotionally needy then I was afraid I was going to be able to deal with. I wanted someone to pull my hair, not cry after sex. Although, we never had sex, the thought that I was going to have to comfort him after sex was starting to creep in my head.
Over the next week, his attitude slowly went down, and he got more and more depressed. I hung out with him one more time, and we talked about his past again. He informed me that he had withheld a few details in his story. He let me know his complete story. I admit again, that his story was very horrific, but he was crying again on me with no alcohol. At this moment, I realized that I cannot date a nice guy. I still talk to him as a friend, and he stills tries to flirt with me.
New rule: Nice guys do finish last.
Half Crazy
So, after the rebound king, I was immediately met the next guy. He claimed to be a Christian, and I thought that maybe this would be a nice change. I had never been with someone with the same beliefs. The first night that we talked, we literally talked for 8 hours. It was an amazing conversation.
The next day we decided to meet up. After work, I drove to his house. It was the longest drive I have ever taken. When I met him, I noticed immediately that he did not look like the pictures that he had posted. We had a great time, and I decided that I would stay the night. We started to make out and one thing lead to another, and he pulled it out. For the first time, I was scared. I had never seen one that big before. It was enjoyed, but he lasted forever. It was a nice change. And it was pretty apparent at this time that he was not so Christian as he proclaimed.
Over the next week, we hung out and talked a lot. When the weekend came around we made plans to hang out. I went to his house on Friday night. We watched a movie and drank some wine. Saturday came and we had breakfast and enjoyed each other. Then all of a sudden, he gets up and goes into his office. About 15 minutes goes by, and I hear voices from his office. When I go into his office he was watching TV on his computer. When I tried to sit in there with him to spend time with him, he got up and left the room again and went outside to talk on the phone. I decide that I needed to leave.
Over the next week, he is distant and borderline weird. I slowly stopped talking to him. Then one day he calls me out of the blue. It had been a while since my last encounter, and I hung out with him again. In the middle of sex, he stops and looks at me and gets emotional. He told me how he missed me and how he was so glad to see me. I decided that I would slowly let him loose. He had a little more bi-polar tendencies than I wanted to deal with.
New Rule: No matter how normal they seem, they can still have a hint of crazy.
The next day we decided to meet up. After work, I drove to his house. It was the longest drive I have ever taken. When I met him, I noticed immediately that he did not look like the pictures that he had posted. We had a great time, and I decided that I would stay the night. We started to make out and one thing lead to another, and he pulled it out. For the first time, I was scared. I had never seen one that big before. It was enjoyed, but he lasted forever. It was a nice change. And it was pretty apparent at this time that he was not so Christian as he proclaimed.
Over the next week, we hung out and talked a lot. When the weekend came around we made plans to hang out. I went to his house on Friday night. We watched a movie and drank some wine. Saturday came and we had breakfast and enjoyed each other. Then all of a sudden, he gets up and goes into his office. About 15 minutes goes by, and I hear voices from his office. When I go into his office he was watching TV on his computer. When I tried to sit in there with him to spend time with him, he got up and left the room again and went outside to talk on the phone. I decide that I needed to leave.
Over the next week, he is distant and borderline weird. I slowly stopped talking to him. Then one day he calls me out of the blue. It had been a while since my last encounter, and I hung out with him again. In the middle of sex, he stops and looks at me and gets emotional. He told me how he missed me and how he was so glad to see me. I decided that I would slowly let him loose. He had a little more bi-polar tendencies than I wanted to deal with.
New Rule: No matter how normal they seem, they can still have a hint of crazy.
Monday, January 17, 2011
4 Inch Man
So, after I had my heart hurt, I decided to follow my brother’s advice. He told me that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I was on a mission. I started talking to 4 Inch Man right after Sublime lover and had one thing on my mind. To get over the one before. We started talking and quickly made a date to hung out.
I met him out for a few drinks. When he showed up, I noticed that he was not the height or the weight that he told me he was. I went a head with the date. We went into the restaurant and had a few drinks. So, at the end of the date, we decided to get a hotel room. He paid for the room, and we were set.
So, once we were in the hotel room, we started making out, touching, and undressing. Now, I am not trying to say that I look amazing naked, but I make for it in other ways. Things started to get hot and heavy, and his shirt came off. I ran my hand over his back and noticed that he had shaved his back and hair and it was time for him to do it again. It was right at the point where the hair was short and all the same length. Then the pants came off, he turned to grab the condom, and I saw his ass. It was the hairiest thing I have ever seen. I had to turn away. I kept telling myself that I was doing this and never call him again. When he got back into bed, and right at the moment where the sex was going to begin, I looked down, and noticed that the 6 inches that he promised me was not there. There were only 4. At that point, I was a little far into this to stop. So, I took one for the team. It was one of the worst sexual experiences of my life. I felt bad for the guy, but it is the truth. I got my clothes, got dressed, and got out of there.
The new rule: If I am going to use a guy for sex, then get picture evidence im advanced before I commit to having sex with him.
I met him out for a few drinks. When he showed up, I noticed that he was not the height or the weight that he told me he was. I went a head with the date. We went into the restaurant and had a few drinks. So, at the end of the date, we decided to get a hotel room. He paid for the room, and we were set.
So, once we were in the hotel room, we started making out, touching, and undressing. Now, I am not trying to say that I look amazing naked, but I make for it in other ways. Things started to get hot and heavy, and his shirt came off. I ran my hand over his back and noticed that he had shaved his back and hair and it was time for him to do it again. It was right at the point where the hair was short and all the same length. Then the pants came off, he turned to grab the condom, and I saw his ass. It was the hairiest thing I have ever seen. I had to turn away. I kept telling myself that I was doing this and never call him again. When he got back into bed, and right at the moment where the sex was going to begin, I looked down, and noticed that the 6 inches that he promised me was not there. There were only 4. At that point, I was a little far into this to stop. So, I took one for the team. It was one of the worst sexual experiences of my life. I felt bad for the guy, but it is the truth. I got my clothes, got dressed, and got out of there.
The new rule: If I am going to use a guy for sex, then get picture evidence im advanced before I commit to having sex with him.
Sublime Lover
The second guy that I really made a connection to is known to me by Sublime Lover. I emailed him first and I caught his eye because I mentioned that one of my favorite bands was Sublime, and I was an animal lover. and we really hit it off. Within a few days, numbers were exchanged, and we were off texting, and calling all the time. We talked about everything, and nothing was unturned. We agreed upon everything and we were having a great time. We started getting more and more personal and the harder I fell. After a few weeks of talking, we decided to meet.
We decided to meet on a Friday night after I got off work. We went out for a few beers and he leaned in to kiss me. I was not ready for it so he kissed my upper lip. We laughed and kissed again. I admit that I saw fireworks. We had such a great time that we then went to a park to have a picnic under the stars. We made out and enjoyed conversation. We parted ways at 4:00 am.
The next day, we talked and decided to go to a movie. I picked him up as it was my date and my choice. I got beer and pizza and picked him up. We went to the drive in and made out like we were back in high school. After the movies, I dropped him off at his house at 2:00 am.
We are on Sunday now, and he text me asking if I wanted to go out again with him to watch football. Of course I did. So, I went and met him and we were having a great time. We were talking and laughing, and the subject of religion came up. I am Christian. When I started my story about my past experience with a youth group I used to go to, he stopped me in the middle of the story and asked if I was Catholic. When I responded with “No, I am Christian.” He jerked his head to me and asked me, “Aren’t you Catholic?” I told him that I am Christian, and he asked if I was sure. I responded with yes. It was not less then 15 minutes and he made up an excuse that he had to work early in the morning and he needed to go home. So, we left.
The next day, we talked a little bit, but I noticed things were just different. So, I asked what was wrong. He responded that he was scared and that we were moving too fast. I ended the conversation with “Well, you know my number.”
The new rule: Do not bring up religion unless the person has the same religion.
We decided to meet on a Friday night after I got off work. We went out for a few beers and he leaned in to kiss me. I was not ready for it so he kissed my upper lip. We laughed and kissed again. I admit that I saw fireworks. We had such a great time that we then went to a park to have a picnic under the stars. We made out and enjoyed conversation. We parted ways at 4:00 am.
The next day, we talked and decided to go to a movie. I picked him up as it was my date and my choice. I got beer and pizza and picked him up. We went to the drive in and made out like we were back in high school. After the movies, I dropped him off at his house at 2:00 am.
We are on Sunday now, and he text me asking if I wanted to go out again with him to watch football. Of course I did. So, I went and met him and we were having a great time. We were talking and laughing, and the subject of religion came up. I am Christian. When I started my story about my past experience with a youth group I used to go to, he stopped me in the middle of the story and asked if I was Catholic. When I responded with “No, I am Christian.” He jerked his head to me and asked me, “Aren’t you Catholic?” I told him that I am Christian, and he asked if I was sure. I responded with yes. It was not less then 15 minutes and he made up an excuse that he had to work early in the morning and he needed to go home. So, we left.
The next day, we talked a little bit, but I noticed things were just different. So, I asked what was wrong. He responded that he was scared and that we were moving too fast. I ended the conversation with “Well, you know my number.”
The new rule: Do not bring up religion unless the person has the same religion.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Rules
On line dating. It is the new dating scene, and it is fun, entertaining, and ego boosting. It is chance to see "what is out there." After a long relationship, I wanted to do just that, see what WAS out there. I really did not know my city as I had only been living here for 4 years, and was in a relationship with a man that did not want to adventure out for 3.5 of those years. I am not a bar scene kind of girl, but wanted to meet people and get out. What is the best solution to this, on line dating. Why not, I told myself. So, I set up a profile, posted some pictures, and I was off. Within a few hours, I had emails, responses, and online gifts. Yes, gifts. For those of you who do not know how this gift thing works, a guy or a girl will send you an image of a rose or whatever gift they feel is appropriate for you. Let me tell you, nothing warms my heart more than a rose or a teddy bear that anyone can photo shop into an email. Not that I am saying that I need the real thing, but come on. I definitely don't need a fake one either. So, here I was making real connections with these guys, and I thought, "This is fun, I can do this." Within a few days, a few weeks, I had email addresses, IM screen names, and telephone numbers which turned into long conversations over emails, instant messages, text messages, and even telephones calls. From there, I was even able to score dates with what I thought were decent men. So, here is where my stories begin, and the rules to my on line dating game come into play:
1. I am not the type of girl that thinks that physical appearance is completely it, but I have to feel some attraction to the guy.
2. He has to be able to hold a conversation with me over email, text messages, and be able to spell some what correctly. Otherwise, it just will not work.
3. I am not looking for a booty call, a hook up or a one night stand. Go to a bar, get a drunk girl and take her home.
4. Don't be completely into yourself, seriously, not interested.
5. Keep my interest. I know harder then it sounds, and borderline stuck up, but I do not want to deal with someone that just wants to talk about themselves, play videogames, or stare at me like I am a piece of meat.
6. I will go out with a guy as long as the above rules are met. I am easy going, and believe that you never know what you will find.
I make up rules as I go. As I find out what I like and don't like, new rules will get added. I go out with guys that I am generally interested in, and here are the stories of the many failed attempts at finding my prince. I am going to use nicknames for the guys as I am still friends with a few of these guys, and I do not want to hurt their feelings just in case. Plus, I am sure I could be sued for some of this stuff. Don't want to take that chance. I will start by updating on the dates that I have already been on and the experiences that I have gone through, then I will update with new dates as I have them. Some dates or guys are much more interesting then others. I hope that you all enjoy my experiences, and either learn from or get a good laugh from them. ENJOY!
1. I am not the type of girl that thinks that physical appearance is completely it, but I have to feel some attraction to the guy.
2. He has to be able to hold a conversation with me over email, text messages, and be able to spell some what correctly. Otherwise, it just will not work.
3. I am not looking for a booty call, a hook up or a one night stand. Go to a bar, get a drunk girl and take her home.
4. Don't be completely into yourself, seriously, not interested.
5. Keep my interest. I know harder then it sounds, and borderline stuck up, but I do not want to deal with someone that just wants to talk about themselves, play videogames, or stare at me like I am a piece of meat.
6. I will go out with a guy as long as the above rules are met. I am easy going, and believe that you never know what you will find.
I make up rules as I go. As I find out what I like and don't like, new rules will get added. I go out with guys that I am generally interested in, and here are the stories of the many failed attempts at finding my prince. I am going to use nicknames for the guys as I am still friends with a few of these guys, and I do not want to hurt their feelings just in case. Plus, I am sure I could be sued for some of this stuff. Don't want to take that chance. I will start by updating on the dates that I have already been on and the experiences that I have gone through, then I will update with new dates as I have them. Some dates or guys are much more interesting then others. I hope that you all enjoy my experiences, and either learn from or get a good laugh from them. ENJOY!
The Dragon Slayer
The first guy that I made a connection with is nicknamed Dragon Slayer. He was so handsome and intriguing. I loved emailing with him. We would write to each other the most wonderful things. Our connection was so surreal. We would look forward to read the emails from each other. Finally, we decided to exchange our numbers, and the texting began. They were just as wonderful as the emails. We then started to talk to each other on the phone and the conversations were also just as good as the written correspondence.
Finally, after about 2 weeks, we were talking on the phone and he told me that he has a game later that day. When someone tells me that they have a game later, I immediately think of something like basketball or football with their friends. When I asked him what kind of game, he told me that he had a Dungeons and Dragons match with his friends. I had a flood of questions for him. He told me that he does not go to the park, and play with fake swords “because those people are weird.” I asked all my questions and he answered them with pleasure. I learned a lot about Dungeons and Dragons, the board game. And at the end of the conversation, he ended it with “Oh, I have to go because the Dungeon Master is here with the story.”
I tried very hard to be optimistic, and I was determined not to let this bother me. But when he started talking like he was from another time, that is when I had to draw the line. It was like after he gave me his deepest, darkest secret, then he was going to go all out and be clingy. I am a not the type of girl that wants or needs the romantic lobe poems nor do I want them. So, the next few days he slowly got more and more romantic and clingy over his text messages. Finally, the last day that we talked was when he asked, “Permission, to speak boldly.” I said of course, and he asked, “May I take me lady out to a beautiful dinner on Wednesday.” I accepted it, and he went on to add, “We will have dinner on top of the world.” I was not able to handle it. I asked him if it was going to be cold on top of the world and if I needed a sweater, and I asked if Santa was going to be there. I know it was mean. I stopped talking to him.
The new rule: Ask the guy if he is into Dungeons and Dragons first.
Finally, after about 2 weeks, we were talking on the phone and he told me that he has a game later that day. When someone tells me that they have a game later, I immediately think of something like basketball or football with their friends. When I asked him what kind of game, he told me that he had a Dungeons and Dragons match with his friends. I had a flood of questions for him. He told me that he does not go to the park, and play with fake swords “because those people are weird.” I asked all my questions and he answered them with pleasure. I learned a lot about Dungeons and Dragons, the board game. And at the end of the conversation, he ended it with “Oh, I have to go because the Dungeon Master is here with the story.”
I tried very hard to be optimistic, and I was determined not to let this bother me. But when he started talking like he was from another time, that is when I had to draw the line. It was like after he gave me his deepest, darkest secret, then he was going to go all out and be clingy. I am a not the type of girl that wants or needs the romantic lobe poems nor do I want them. So, the next few days he slowly got more and more romantic and clingy over his text messages. Finally, the last day that we talked was when he asked, “Permission, to speak boldly.” I said of course, and he asked, “May I take me lady out to a beautiful dinner on Wednesday.” I accepted it, and he went on to add, “We will have dinner on top of the world.” I was not able to handle it. I asked him if it was going to be cold on top of the world and if I needed a sweater, and I asked if Santa was going to be there. I know it was mean. I stopped talking to him.
The new rule: Ask the guy if he is into Dungeons and Dragons first.
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