The Doctor

One of the most bizarre first date was with The Doctor. I drove to meet him when he got off his shift. I had been talking with his for a little bit and decided one night to go meet him for dinner at the last minute.

When I was getting ready to leave I got a text messages from him that telling me random things about him. One was that he had an accent, one that he just got off work and he was still in his work clothes, and one was that he was not a million feet tall and I was NOT to wear heels. I found that to be odd as I am not one to take orders like that.

We met for dinner and it was ok, but he was not that great at conversation. He talked me into taking a ride to see his new medical office. I did. Then he convinced me to go back to his house. And I did. I knew in my head that I was not going to sleep with him. He had an amazing house. When we got there he had champagne and cigars for me as I had mentioned that I drink occasionally and I enjoy a cigar every once in a while when I drink. He poured me a glass and we went outside to have a cigar. He was smoking his very liberally and I tried to warn him that he needs to be careful with the cigar because I knew that if he was not used to them then they could really knock him on his ass. He did not seem to be concerned.

After a small glass of champagne, we went back inside and he wanted to show me around his house. The tour ended in his guest room and the next thing that I knew we were making out on the bed. He wasn’t that good of a kisser, but when he started to lick my neck like my dog, up and down, up and down. I had to stare at the ceiling thinking of the most saddest things I could think of in order not to laugh uncontrollably at him. He then moved to me ears and was sucking on them while he was rubbing my boon in a circular motion that was on the fine line of weird, painful, and giving me motion sickness. Then he stops. pulls his head away from me and pulls my earring out of his mouth. And hands it back to me. I went to find the back of my earring to find it glued to the back of my ear from all of his spit.

I decided that maybe he was just nervous, and he had not been with anyone in a while. So, I decided to take control of the situation. After I put my earring back in my ear, I shoved him over and took charge of the situation. I was kissing him when he whispered to me to bite his lip. I figured, why not. So, when I did, he yells out “Oh yeah, you fucking bitch, bite me you fucking bitch!” At that point, I was done. I can appreciate a little dirty talk in the bedroom, but on the first date it was a little weird, and inappropriate.

I rolled over was adjusting my clothing when he reached over and slapped me. I admit it was not a hard slap, but it took be by surprise especially when he told me that it was all my fault. I did not know that what he was talking about, and asked him “What?” He then reached over and slapped me a little harder, and again told me that it was all my fault and he added that he never does this. At this point, I am shocked, and I asked him one more time “What?” He responded with w firmer slap and told me that it was all my fault, he never brings woman back to his house, but it was all my smile. This time I pointed at him and told him. “If you slap me one more time, then I was going to slap him back and it was going to fucking hurt.” I do not think that he ever had a girl stand up to him as he looked shocked and laid back on the bed.

As he lay there, I got up and started to adjust my clothing. Nothing was off, it was all twisted around. He all of a sudden jerked straight up and looked at me and said, “I have to go throw up now, so, you have to stay here!” Since I was already slapped, I figured I should stay there. When he came back, I made him take me back to my car immediately.

New Rule: Never smoke cigars and drink champagne on the first date unless you know he can handle it and keep men away from my ears.