The Dragon Slayer

The first guy that I made a connection with is nicknamed Dragon Slayer. He was so handsome and intriguing. I loved emailing with him. We would write to each other the most wonderful things. Our connection was so surreal. We would look forward to read the emails from each other. Finally, we decided to exchange our numbers, and the texting began. They were just as wonderful as the emails. We then started to talk to each other on the phone and the conversations were also just as good as the written correspondence.

Finally, after about 2 weeks, we were talking on the phone and he told me that he has a game later that day. When someone tells me that they have a game later, I immediately think of something like basketball or football with their friends. When I asked him what kind of game, he told me that he had a Dungeons and Dragons match with his friends. I had a flood of questions for him. He told me that he does not go to the park, and play with fake swords “because those people are weird.” I asked all my questions and he answered them with pleasure. I learned a lot about Dungeons and Dragons, the board game. And at the end of the conversation, he ended it with “Oh, I have to go because the Dungeon Master is here with the story.”

I tried very hard to be optimistic, and I was determined not to let this bother me. But when he started talking like he was from another time, that is when I had to draw the line. It was like after he gave me his deepest, darkest secret, then he was going to go all out and be clingy. I am a not the type of girl that wants or needs the romantic lobe poems nor do I want them. So, the next few days he slowly got more and more romantic and clingy over his text messages. Finally, the last day that we talked was when he asked, “Permission, to speak boldly.” I said of course, and he asked, “May I take me lady out to a beautiful dinner on Wednesday.” I accepted it, and he went on to add, “We will have dinner on top of the world.” I was not able to handle it. I asked him if it was going to be cold on top of the world and if I needed a sweater, and I asked if Santa was going to be there. I know it was mean. I stopped talking to him.

The new rule: Ask the guy if he is into Dungeons and Dragons first.